I am going for 3 days...

We three sisters are taking our

Mom to the

beach in So Cal for her Birthday.

I'll be back Sunday!!!

forewarned is forearmed

As I was looking up the weather for a trip to So. Cali with my sisters in celebration of our Mom, I came across some much needed info. Figured I best be apprised of rules and regulations to be a law abiding citizen.




They don't like city slickers in Blythe! If you don't own at least two cows, you can do time for wearing cowboy boots.




It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Kelli, no gaming this weekend





The women of Carmel might be well-heeled, but it is against the law for them to be high heeled. High heels are banned within the city limits. Shoo, Jimmy Choo. Ahhh, that's the only footwear Mom owns



Ha! And they say people in LA can be shallow and obessed with looks! In San Francisco, it is actually illegal for ugly people to walk down the street.
Thank Heaven San Fran is not on our destination list!






Good thing Jon Bon Jovi hailed from Jersey and not California. Since 1838, according to crazylaws.com, it is illegal for a man in California to serenade a woman without a permit.



You might want to walk a mile for a camel, but in Palm Springs, do not under any circumstances walk your camel on Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of 4 - 6 p.m. This according to dumblaws.com. No word of what you can do with your camel between 4 and 6.





Note to terrorists! Don't go to Chino: detonating a nuclear device of any kind, within the city limits, will get you a $500 fine. Good to know that there is a deterrent in place. I feel safer already.
I am hoping our trip will still be a success.

SIS gives and gives and gives

Well, if you had visited SIS this past week, you would have been informed that our Open House was cancelled. And to make up for that fact, we decided to pick random comments for GIVEAWAY Saying It Simply prizes.

Check out all the winning comments at SIS's blog.

Thanks for your support, FRIENDS!

Tell me your To-Day-Dream

What is your dream today?

I want to make a GINORMOUS donation of crapola. I want to walk through my house, not AROUND or OVER things in the way. Just once.

What?

The boys are done with school. How is that possible? As we left the building both boys started singing at the top of their lungs,
"School's out for summer! School's out forever!" Both of their teachers have led me to believe they are going on to the next grade. Mission accomplished.

Jack and Luke have grandiose summer plans:

1. A clubhouse ~ I see blanket forts
   
2. 4 trips~ Minnesota, St. George, Southern California and some crazy Indiana Jones adventure. I hope we can make it the park 8 houses away.
3. Parties~ plural. Where we decorate the yard and house; invite the city and give away prizes
4. Start up a business. I believe it involves EBAY and selling things that belong to me
5. Finishing digging a hole for the in ground pool. They don't realize that the hole was started by a leak in the sprinklers
6. A farmers market in our backyard. I'd like to make a single batch of salsa.
7. Girls. Over heard them talking one night about each trying to get 2 girlfriends... a backup in case the first fails. WHAT?
8. Super Hero Powers~ yeah. Captain Insane-OH and his sidekicks, Double Trouble.

Please let this summer pass us by quickly!

He can't read my mind

I knew it was trash day. I know it's trash day every Thursday. I am even savvy of the fact the moment I awake...

Yet, instead of reminding Wil the cans need to be hauled to the curb, I test him. He leaves before the truck rounds the corner and after ALL OF OUR NEIGHBORS have depoited their receptacles at the curb. So, I assume he will notice.

Nope.

The collectors came early today. I had to run after them shouting offers of $$ and services if they would kindly return to empty the cans....

My frantic take out the trash episodes happen every week, because I first want to see if Wil can remember on his own and secondly, even though I hope it will happen, he can't read my mind.

WHY do I do this?

Have I done any good in the world today?

Ya know how a song will pop into your gray matter for NO REASON?
It's been going on for a week. I'm starting to pay attention.
"Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped any one in need?
Have I cheered up the sad or
Made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed in deed."
Uhhhh.... guess I must not be achieving passing grades in the Helpful department since this song is currently riding the waves of my brain.

So, I have a new goal. I am going to attempt one random act of kindness a day. We'll see if this will give me the peace I seek. I am hoping the good I may accomplish will outweigh the bad on which I focus.

Silly me for not trying this sooner, for this is the sign I have hanging by my front door:

(I must not look up very often.)

I am an ecstatic receiver to kindness, and what goes around comes around, thus, I am going to initiate the process. Watch out world, I have a gift basket in my heart and I feel like sharing!!! (FREAK! Was that last sentence covered in cheese, or what?!?!? My apologies to those who are offended by sappy sentiments.)

So, if you need a lift, I will be your underwire.

initiative. above and far beyond the lowered bar

My Sprat. What did I know?!?!? Turns out, he's a real go-getter when it's something he wants. He arranged to have G'pa Hansen come to his class and share his affinity for the fowl.... pigeon kind. Unknown to Jack's parents, (that's Wil and me) the A.O.K was given by his teacher and Jack called G'pa to tell him the approved time and locale.

When was I dropped from the inner circle? How is an 8 year old savvy enough to set up a question and answer period with a professional pigeon breeder/racer? I think it's rooted in love. Love for a Grandpa who is seriously great. My Sprat. Genius. Kind. Self Motivated- until it requires putting DIRTY socks in the wash.

I digress.

Today I revel in his ingenuity. Did I fail to give him the memo about the bar being lowered? Shucks. Love watching him soar. Take flight little pigeon. Doin' the coo coo pigeon.....

REMEMBER THAT SONG!?!?!?!?!?!?

and to Grandpa, thank you. You made his day. Jack felt VERY special.

Open House Cancelled

Due to the holiday weekend, SIS is cancelling the Open House... However, if you are interested, Kourtney and I have decided to do Giveaways spontaneously this week. Random comments left during this week (5/19/2008 ~ 5/23/2008) will be picked from all of our blogs and receive creations from our summer line. Click here for kris or here for Kourtney or here for Saying It Simply. Saying It Simply will be updated thoughout the week to showcase our stuff.

Any comment will do. This is our way of saying sorry we cancelled on such short notice. Still friends?

Realistic Regulations

Yep. Personal growth. I am realistically coming to terms with ideas that are "Not So Great".

17~ Try to be witty with stupid people. I end up frustrated and condescending

16~Make bigger than WalMart purchases by myself. Yeah. I hate moving the sprinklers around. Probably should have purchased sod AFTER we had run the lines...

15~Babysit. I like when my OWN kids go off to play...still covet my time.

14~Dance in public. Um. Not so good at this. I KNOW this for a fact. No one else should have to know it.

13~Volunteer. Well, I am the first to say, "I'll help!". But honestly, I think it's for the gratitude from the receivers, not the good feelings on my part. I am working on this. Hope to be able to remove it from this list by next Saturday.

12~Volunteer Wil. Not such a fantastic idea. I am the first to offer him up for hanging a shelf, moving a box, building ANYTHING. I hear about it later.

11~Throw the perfect party. I can plan the party for a month into the future, Hell, a year and I'll be doing EVERYTHING the evening before. (Can we say, PRO-CRAS-TI-NA-TOR?)

10~Start organizing. There are some things I know I am not good at. ORGANIZATION is a biggy. The entire house ends up in a state of destruction as I am FOCUS Deficient. I am a flit-er. If an item takes me away from my task at hand, I end up doing something in my new location.

9~Blog all day. Self explanatory, eh? The house is in disarray. My blog is tidy. Serious breech in prioritizing.

8~Think there are more than 24 hours in a day. There aren't.

7~ Ask the unknowns (that's you, dear lurker) to comment on this blog. I can't even get my own Mom to validate my time wasting on the puter.

6~ Expect mind reading. As hard as I try to believe this should be a feasible trait, the world at large is NOT blessed with an ability to go into my brain and understand what I am actually thinking. Weird.

5~ Be the funniest person in the world. I am too grouchy. Did you know Hilarity and Grumpiness don't mesh? I know! I am at a loss...

4~ File my nails on the belt sander. Does anyone out there do manicures?

3~ Use colorful metaphors. At dinner, Kate asked, "Will someone please pass the FREAKIN' ketchup. I looked at Wil and with a smirk said, "Sorry."

2~ Bark at people. This is a long story. But after an episode of my dog-iness, I was asked by a extremely strong looking woman (I use "woman" in an attempt to refrain from using colorful metaphors) if I wanted to fight. Wil stepped in and respectfully declined her invitation to rumble on my behalf. If I do say so myself, the hound deserved the bark.

Who am I kidding. I am terrible at being told what to do. Especially by me. There are NOT 17 things I can realistically regulate. Let the misbehaving commence!

Gratitude Girl

Can it be? If weeks fly by like this I will be muy prepared when it's my turn at the Thanksgiving Day table... I'll simply refer back to a random Thursday and state:

Upon reflection: On May 15 of this year, I was deeply thankful for (ok... I seriously, just paused and looked to either side of me for something to be happy about. At the very same moment Kate dumped her cereal and the thought of my mop popped my serene bubble. That being said...)

1. My mop. Steam those germs away, baby.


2. That my Luke has friends. The boy is becoming the popular kid. Doorbell rings nonstop and he screams, "It's probably for me again!"


3. My alone time. I really do covet time to myself. I give better attention to my kids if I can have some Big K time.


4. Wil loves his job. Since we have been through some really crappy times, I am SO thankful he goes to work with a smile. And he is so good at what he does.


5. Comments. Validation on this silly blog is delish.

Was wondering if I could get my 5. (Props to Mindi ((who is my very most favorite, don't know personally, blog sistah)) for coming up with this idea) Just 5 people to say HEY who have not said HEY before. Please, if you have dropped the Hey in my reality all ready... um, CONTINUE, by all means. I'll come over to your blouse (my combo of blog and house-it sounds a little dirty though) and say Hello to you.

Dream Fire Sprinkled Out

I wanted a bike for Mother's Day... I got shown the backyard. Sigh.

It was purely for the greater good of the fam. Save $$$ on gas. Bonding while biking with the fam. Last but not least, my thighs~I could ride my pink and pretty over to Maverick to pick up the coke waiting for me to start my day.

Nope. I was told I ALMOST had it! But then Wil's rational good sense made him think twice (when does this happen? EVER?!?!?! Only on Kris Day) and not load up the empty car with a Kris-happy-maker. He has rationalized the non-purchase with the FACT that we now need sprinklers... Go ahead. Toss that back at me, your spontateous grass buyin' crazy insane wife.

Sigh. Tear Trickle. I still want a bike... and Wil, I understand. Sniff Sniff. Reality Bites.

Did all of you get the one magic item for MDay? I would like to be happy for your good fortune. I do LOVE the grass... it just wasn't a surprise. Well. Not for me. hee hee

Reveling.

I never told what happened when Wil returned from San Fran to find that his spontaneous better half and purchased 2000 sq feet of sod.

Absolutely nothing. He loves me. Wait. I had to by tissues and cold meds. And give some TLC as we was practically at death's door.

Today, Kelli (who claims to be the IT in Saying It Simply. ~ you see, she is the middle sis.) and I vegged in the grassy green, lush backyard. Doing absolutely nothing, but loving that we weren't trying to relax in dirt.

Did I tell you I open my blinds to the back now?

We still need to make flower beds and haul in lots of dark dirt (I'll get that next time Wil travels.) and clean up a crap load of weeds under the tramp. Not worried about the tramp area though. The pool will be going there in about 2 weeks.

You should all come visit me. We can sit on the ground in my backyard and love that I make crazy decisions. (ok. got the pic off the internet. not my yard. but someday it will be all done.)

reflecting realistically

My Hurrah! for motherhood.

my kids are healthy.
So many different things can be brought upon us in the blink of an eye. A damn cold brings my world crashing. I am not the best at care giving. Nurturing is a trait I am attempting to grasp, but I count my blessings that a snotty nose and a cough that wakes me (even though I pretend to sleep through it) at 3 am is the worst of it because there are many of you out there who are blessed, yes I did say blessed, with a harsher reality. I know we are given what we can handle.

Let's pretend we got to take our most aggravating problem, write it down on a piece of a paper and throw the paper into a bowl. Only to find out we had to pass the bowl around and draw out a random problem. I firmly believe after seeing how our lives would now be burdened, we would barter and beg to have our original ache returned. I am so thankful for my worries... no details. I'll just say I can handle what is on my plate.

Happy Mother's Day. May you all realize you have been blessed with what you can handle.
Too deep? I am a tad sleepy. xxoo, kris

SIS is at it again

SIS has another giveaway. WOW. 2 in one week. Go here to enter.

Quick story about this block. Had a dude come to the door on Saturday, selling, oh, I don't know Record Players, perhaps. As soon as Wil opens the door, dude jumps into his pitch on why we need a record player (ok. I know it wasn't actually an RP- but that's all I can come up with at the moment) and he is enthusiastic! Wil silently points to obviously placed, polite (it says thank you) NO SOLICITING sign. Dude replies, "Oh. I thought it was too cute to be a real one."

Even the sales-pitchers appreciate the craftiness of this SIS creation!

Now, don't you want one, too?

Meet my BFF

What can I say? After being spotlighted in a superbly DALiCiouS way, I feel it necessary to reciprocate the kindness...

As I would love to sing a song I wrote in honor of my baby sister, aka BFF, Kourtney, I just remembered I have lowered the bar of things I can do. (Remember, this is so I can have a restful sleep, see decree here)

So we'll just have to settle for a list of Good things about Kourt.

SHE:

1. calls ALL the time


2. answers the phone when I call


3. is a work horse and proudly prances when she's sportin' the saddle


4. tells me when there is something in my teeth


5. is a motivator


6. never complains- I wish she would every once in a while. Then I wouldn't feel like such a whiner! Everyone should know, whiners get shiners. Kourt told me.


7. is a fount of creative prowess and is the organizational wizard behind SIS


8. is my happy giggle every morning


9. is a nurturing mom and aunt. Her kiddos love her so much and My kiddos adore Aunt Kookie


10. is a humble bumble. Never toots her own horn and reminds me to be a little less tooty.


11. makes me want to be the best I can be


12. loves the color Orange and looks quite beautiful in it, I should add.


13. owns every Matthew McConaughey movie ever made.


14. makes me get out of the EMBARRASSMENT cocoon I have spun 'round myself so we can reenact great movie scenes from chick flicks to entertainment the masses.


15. makes us wear matching clothes when we go out so the public at large will know we are together~ I love being associated with her.


16. will hate that I did this but still love me just the same.

That's my sis~my sidekick~my very own american idol. Check back each Thursday to see who I am proppin' up as I try to appreciate others.

Realistic Gratitude

What the heck am I thankful for?

Spell Check~ Can't begin to explain how fast my fingers can fly as they tickle the keyboard and tehy cnstontaly wnat to pcale my lttres in an unapcepacbtle oderr.

Sisters~ these are my friends who can tell me I am a moron and my love might pause for a moment, but it will take a deep breath and continue growing.

Friends who like my children~ Thanks Jess for making Katey and Luke feel special today. I so needed them to feel special by someone else at the very second you called.

Scentsy~ after I burn two bags of popcorn in a row, it is very nice to be able to flick the Scentsational switch and add a hint of cinnamon.

Grass~ I am so very Thankful for grass.

Wil~ I've said it before, Where there's a Wil, there's a way. And he will always follow the way I have chosen. It is so nice to have that constant in my life...

Chocolate~

I'm new at listing things I am Thankful for... Baby steps, baby steps... baby steps to Gratitude.

Mr. Ben and Mr. Micah

This hands down, handsome fella completed his first year in April so here is a belated BD wish to Mr. Mister. (So sorry for the delay. I just now decided to do the shout out's for special days)

Can't wait 'til you are my neighbor and not a distant relative!

Another one of my super cute nephews is celebrating today! Happy BD, Mr. Man. You survived the adoring attention of three little

lovlies for a whole year. Whoo HOOOOOO to YOU!!!!!!

Giggles with Mom- nothing better

Are You Turning into Your Mother?

My Result: Funny Bone

Hey there, funny girl! You're living proof that nothing brings a family together quite like bonding over good times. While you may not always laugh at exactly the same things, you and your mom certainly share your own unique sense of humor — and it shows.


Whether you guys are exchanging smart-alec remarks around the house, making fun of Oscar outfits, or sharing an inside joke, your mom obviously taught you how to lighten up, and you use your lesson well. No doubt she helped you deal with life's more serious matters, but it is her smiles and laughter that you're sure to remember, inherit, and pass on. What a perfect pair!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=turningintomotherogt&c=50652

My mom tells me that I crack her up. She can always bring out the giggles in me, too. Love that we have laughter in common. If you know my Mom, you know how lucky I am.

Oh how We love to Give

You must go here if you feel like getting these "HOW TO BE" blocks for free!!! The whole set! It's a $30 gift for you!!!

Go to Saying It Simply- Leave a thought- Check back on Saturday to see if you won!

Yum! I love freebies.

I'm tired

I must send out a sincere Thank You to neighbors and friends for showing up in the nick of time... from picking up the grass on Saturday morning to getting it down this evening. Our grass was done in about an hour... Simply Amazing.

Today was spent weed eating, mowing, tilling and grading. We worked like crazy to get the grass down before the dry conditions killed my dreams of a lush backyard. All of this occured while Wil suffered from fevers to chills and an inability to stay alert. He is really sick. I feel terrible, but he says it's fine because if I hadn't done it abruptly it wouldn't have been completed for weeks. (I'll post pics Tuesday morning. I'm as giddy as a school girl crushing. )

Living Realistically Lesson For Today: If I wait for the perfect moment to accomplish any goal, I will never achieve anything.
Song I sang while toiling away in the dust, "Have I done any Good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need?" I will repay the kindnesses we received during my impulsive decision to have grass...

Updated and informed

Goal for the day- Oasis of a yard. Reality, happy it's not just dirt.

I am still alive after spending the green on the green. He shook his head and called his dad. (Dad always knows what to do) We were able to lay the sod along our driveway and finish up the parking area today. We started tilling the backyard and my plans for tomorrow include turning Wil into an ox as he drags a pallet loaded with kids behind him as a homemade grader. (I'm tellin' you, I am Kristine MacGyver) I'll be doing my part... I will be the one with the 44 ouncer of Mt. Dew on the other end of the yard coaxing Wil closer like a mule to a carrot.

I do feel super bad that Wil has returned with a wicked illness and has been accomplishing the yardwork between fevers. He is the hardest working person I know. Where there's a WIL- There's a WaY.

Should I set aside my pride and embarrassment and post a pic of the natural state our yard as a BEFORE shot? What if the AFTER is no better....?!?!?!? This really was a crazy thing for me to do. Our backyard sprinklers aren't even in yet. I am a tad loco; have a mentioned that before?

Spontaneity

So does anyone else ever do something without thinking? I mean, make a BIG decision without weighing the pros and cons? Wil is on a biz trip to San Fran and is returning this evening to see that his adorable, spontaneous, talks faster than common sense, (did I mention adorable?) wife and favorite person in the whole world has purchased 2000 square feet of sod that is already cut.


It was a very good deal. But now I need a truck to bring it over to my house (it's less than a mile away) and I need someone to come level my backyard. Does anyone have connections to who or what I might need to get this done in my neck of the woods? (Hee hee)
Surprise, Wil!!! Remember how much you love me? I love you so much, I went ahead and took care of Mother's Day for you!!!!

1-Easy to ask for SOD AND SPRINKLERS for my Oh so natural desert landscaping in the backyard. ( This is what WE are getting for Mother's Day.) So, instead of feeling jipped, I am adding it to my list of the things I most desire... BONUS- kids play outside. House stays semi-clean.
2- A pedi. Time for a pedi. BONUS- this would benefit anyone around when I decide to don the summer footwear. See? I am not selfish in my wishes. I always try to think of mankind and how to be kind to my fellow man.
3-A hut on an island. Of course this would be mere feet from the hotel. Simply a new HiDeouT away from the HIDEOUT. My very own vacay clubhouse.
3a-OK. The same idea as #3, but I'll take the kids. Sandcastles, tide pools, sandy buns and a gritty picnic. Bonus: Celebrating being a Mom in a relaxing environment with my entourage.
4- Um Hello. A one seater! I'll give Wil the manvan to tote the fam and I'll meet them at a predetermined locale in pink and pretty style. Bonus: I didn't tell anyone to "SHHHHhhhhh" for any amount of time.

OR if all else fails, 5-I could REALLY go for a My TY.

Can anyone make these for me?

I can make YOU something from Saying It Simply as a trade. (kris needs a pretty treat.)
www.sayingitsimply.blogspot.com,
If you are interested, references and a letter from your mother would be required.