Wednesday, April 30, 2008

do YOU have a slogan?

Your Slogan Should Be

Kris. Uncommonly Made, Uncommonly Good.

I am having tee shirts and skivvies made- Preorder yours and receive a 10% discount! Plus, if you are spotted by a member of my entourage sporting KrisWear, you can come over for dinner.

Your Slogan Should Be

Joel. Love Every Bite.

Oh yah....he's delicious.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Six Degrees of....


Ya know when you're talking to someone and one thing leads to another and 'You went to school with so-n-so's cousin who's best friend is now married to your best friend's little sister?' (OK. I know that sounds totally whacked, but I have a point.)

It happened t'nite. Every time I go ANYWHERE- I know someone. AND more often than not, I have in someway or another dated someone they are talking about. How is this possible? I have been married for almost 14 years. I got married at 20! Yet, ruthlessly my past conquests (yep, I said conquest) are popping up. When I make the initial connection down memory lane, I laugh at the silliness of it, but then I go home and I feel a tad mortified. My buddy, Jennifer, is usually with me when these hauntings occur, and I fear she might be thinking I was a player... Nope. Just a terrible flirt.

So my question this evening is this- How many of you, my visitors to the HIDEOUT, do I really know? Are you here by happenstance or did you arrive via the SIX DEGREES OF ME~kris?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Freaky Deaky

A delay posting this and the pics are slightly blurry, but I wanted to tell you that we held a BIRTHDAY seance on April 9Th. I was praying for someone with profound knowledge and insight....

We channeled a demon. We refer to her as Kelli M. Stewart ~ and she is SO not a "good thing". NOTE : the psychotic glint to her glance and the gleaming knives over her shoulder.

Isn't it funny how some pictures just DON'T turn out the way you expect?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Hello Blog STALKER

Instead of Blog Stalker I find BALKER, SLOGGER or OGLER a tad friendlier. (Note- see how I combined the Nasty 'blog stalker' term into nifty sub-categories- I mixed & matched.) Now you can choose which category you fall into:

Balker: Someone who will not comment because they are merely watching to see me make a fool of myself and silently critique my follies

Slogger: Someone who is just tooooooooo lazy to say "Hello" or too sleepy to say "Kris, you are SIMPLY idiotic"

Ogler: Someone who is so in AWE of my creative craziness as I tickle my keyboard, they are struck speechless and stare wide-eyed at my HIDEOUT.

Some Quick Queries: I've noticed frequent visits from people in certain locations....Do I know you PINE VALLEY, UTAH patron? I've been there before... Hey LORAIN (OHIO) are you who I think you are? BROOKLYN, NY.... did you come via a relative's blog? Yo, MILLTOWN, NJ.... I can't even guess why you stopped here, but THANK YOU AND Y'all come back now, ya hear? Hello, BOISE.... are you related to my better half? SANDY, UT... does your name begin with a letter in the latter part of the alphabet? As for LAYTON, UT...I know there is one Kookie leaving crumbles from that neighborhood.

Look, so few of my friends actually Blog, Stalk, Balk, Slog or Ogle....I'd love to make some new friends that do.... will you say "hey" next time you pass by? I just turned OFF the verification for comments. I am trying to make this easy peasy.

My Children are Relocating...

We have wonderful neighbors. Thanks for dinner Sean and Jess. Thanks for FHE. Loved the object Lesson. It makes it easier for me to pay attention. (How you were able to send ONLY the spirit of the egg into Heaven marks what a truly remarkable individual you are, Sean!)

I fear my children talk about coming over to your home more often than not. They know the password... I hope you were planning on having a 6 kid fam. The boys can unload the dishwasher and Kate loves to vacuum. They go to bed at 8:30. I'll be down the street for babysitting. But please call in advance, as I may be on vaca with my new found freedom....

I may also have to change the name of this blog to the PLAYHOUSE instead of the HIDEOUT without children to worry about. If this happens, a disclaimer will be posted, for it will become a WILD WILD life and I will tell all.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Lookey Lookey

Remember these?
MonChiChi, Monchichi...oh so soft and cuddle-E. Crazy that I actually found a website selling them. No. I did not place my order. However, I might. I think I always wanted one. The memory for longed after items has faded yet for some crazy reason, I can sing the song. (I can also sing HeMan, Transformers, My Little Pony, Gummi Bears, The New Zoo Review, My Buddy, Kids Inc.; the list goes on and on...) The fact that I know the song so well makes me think I must have yearned for the little monkey children.
So, my question to you: is there a treasure out there that you NEVER received that you would have loved to death or until the fur fell off? I mean, you wanted to hug them and love them and squeeeeeeeeeeze them and call them George? I can only guess that my Mom must have dispised the Monkey Children to not fulfill my dream... I know there are more than a few things I REFUSE to have in MY HIDEOUT that MY kids beg for.
A flat "nope" is all I'll say. My house. My clutter. Dang. I am my mother. (actually, i love saying to myself throughout the day, "Oh. I so just sounded like my mom.")

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Recently happened upon a blog that had a book tag. Simply look up page 123 in the book you are currently reading (or have most recently read) and post the 5th sentence on that page.

Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert

"Our whole business therefore in this life, " wrote Saint Augustine, rather Yogically, "is to restore to health the eye of the heart whereby God may be seen."

I tag EVERYONE who happens upon my silliness. Please post your 5th line in my comments as well. I am near the end of this read and feeling the "What am I going to read after this" fear. Your 5th line may just entice me to check out your book of choice

Monday, April 14, 2008

Game on.

What do you like to play on game nite?
This lil' gem is a HIDEOUT fave. Wanna come over and play? Thank you, SIMPLY FUN.... (no affiliation to SIS)
I am a game addict and I need a fix. I want a new one. Any suggestions?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Spring Freakin' Cleanin'

Tell me, please, is there a product out there making your life a little easier?

This is my mop. Ohhhhhh.... how I adore it. Strong word, but volumes of truth. It's a steam mop no longer sold. So sad.
I found this gem on eBay. 50 smackers later, tears to 'Wil' interspersed with promises of a sanitary floor, this beautiful baby now bears the name "Homeworks Hansen".
But I ask you, the blogging world, (even those who do not know me personally... yet... slight hint at becoming blogging friends) what is the cleaning help you 'ADORE'?
If I might, I will consult Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus - Cite Source - for the definition I am seeking.
Part of Speech: adjective Definition: clean
germ-free, healthful, healthy, hygienic, purified, salubrious, sanative, sterile, uncontaminated, uninfected, unpolluted, wholesome
Thank you kindly, in advance, from your best blogging friend,
The Voice of the Hideout, Kristine
(but you can call me Kris, cuz that's what friends call me)

On Today's Agenda

The HIDEOUT needs a Clean Sweep. Desperately.

We have big plans for an Update on Decor but need to deplete our accumulated crap on hand by (I think) 50%. How do you decide what to keep? Every time I swing my arm to toss a toy into the donate box, I get tears and shouts like, "But I love it so much!" from Joel. (just checkin' to see if you are paying attention!)

Jack wants to sell everything on EBay. Luke thinks I am out to get him. And Kate, well she's the baby and acts like I am asking her to share. "It's MINE!!!!" (this is an area of manners we are really working on right now)
I know this is my doing. I have taught them to savor the flavor of tangible items. I teach by example. When it comes to parting with stuff, all of MY stuff falls into the Treasured Items I Love box. This is going to be a LONG day.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Spontaneous Gathering.

I do so wish I could comfortably be the Hostess with the Mostest, but alas, I fall short on my view of personal expectation.

So, I lowered the bar again.

Personalized with Calligraphy Invites sealed in monogrammed wax. Nope. Casual late night and early morning calls to available sisters and friends and children to come eat here.

Party Decor in Spring colors and me in a New apron primped to heaven. Nope. I showered and brushed my teeth
Catered Chinese buffet, kids make personal pizzas and fresh lemon spritzers. Nope. $5 pizzas (purchased and picked up by invited guest-thank you Jess) and salad literally tossed together, Country Time and juice boxes.

Strawberry shortcake with fresh mint sprigs. Nope. Break apart sugar cookies.
Make and take activity for adults. Nope. Extra slice of pizza as they are walking out the door.

Children Crafts and organized games with prizes. Nope. Allowed the wee ones to brave the weedy, dirt backyard to spend an hour or so jumping on way too bouncy tramp.

Cons-too little space for every one's comfort, unfenced yard and wandering baby, WII is a tad noisy for adult conversation to be heard

Pros-I am blessed to know these people. I have friends who will come spend time with me in a moments notice. My kids are saying it is the best day ever. Extra cookies in my house. Yum.
So, what do you do on a moments notice for fun? I need more ideas

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Guess who's SPECIAL today...

Happy Birthday, Kelli!
I am deliriously delighted to be able to celebrate you.
Ya up for a rambunctious game of Yahtzee or how about a bowling tourney on the WII? (how can this day get any better?)
Love, kris

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Breakfast with a Smile

How happy would I be in the morn with picture toast?
"Good Morning, Kristine. Find your voice after savoring some delectable toasted grain."
"Thank you, Ty." (my dream. my dream conversation.)

I need this freakin' toaster.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Why I love St. George

This is who I call "Mom".

This is who my kids have named "Gaggie".

This is who taught me to remember something~anything about everyone you meet to make them know they matter to you.

This is who I hope will leave one of her scarves or a tee shirt at my home after a visit so I can smell her perfume.

This is who laughs at everything I say and who genuinely makes me believe I am hilarious.

This is who gave me my love for words.

This is who has a folder for each of her 'Gagglings' (grandkids) filled with things about them she finds important.

This is who my kids want to share their accomplishments. Because she makes them feel special.

This is who lives in GaggieLand ~ St. George.

This is who showed me how to CELEBRATE EVERY HOLIDAY.

This is who taught me how to decorate. (However, she has
the market cornered in this area of expertise.)

This is who taught me how to TALK to my Heavenly Father.

This is who makes it so hard to leave St. George.

I Love you, Mom.


This Fam should have stayed away. I can't tell if it's raining, snowing, hailing or the Apocalypse. I do know, it was NOT doing any of these terrible choices yesterday in Southern Utah. On the drive home last night, I felt dread deep inside as the red rocks of HOME turned into dusty, gray, white-topped mounds of dirt near home. UGH.

Have I mentioned that we went to the park in shorts and tees on Friday?

This park has a cool water pad adorned with palm trees that rain down water and squirting frog heads made just for a liquid battle. The handy park caretakers were trying their damnedest to get it up and running for our kiddos. Maybe I'll put this into the plans for our backyard.

Did I tell you I HAD to buy flip flops for the younger HIDEOUT members?

This morning I found pants lined with flannel, long sleeved tees and snow boots.

I was just about to share the news of swimming OUTSIDE on Saturday.

I can't even find a way to elaborate my joy.

How can I convey the need for finding a shady parking spot in SG?

Wishing Saying It Simply wasn't taking over my three car garage this a.m. It's terribly cold outside.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Where I like to hang...

Home. Where my memories are stored. Where my secrets are kept. Where I met most of my favorite peeps. Where my mom makes dinner. Where my kids beg to move. I think it's time to go home. (just for a visit... let's not go loco!) Besides, I am sick of being cold. I can confidently say that I am NOT a polar bear.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Foolish Phenomenon

So, Kate has an interesting phenomenon with pants. Her backside is constantly exposed. I am always telling her, "Katey, your buns are hanging out."
"Oh. I'm sorry, Mommy," she replies.
That is how this conversation goes all day long.
But today, she mixed things up. I stated my line, on cue and with perfect inflection. Kate turned and began to leave. With a sly grin she flipped her head, brushed hair out her eyes and boldly stated.... "I know they are. April Fool's on you, Mom."

My boys

Lovin' and livin' today up! These are 2 extraordinary prank watchers. The problem is they keep asking me when I will be getting them. They are ruining my fun and element of surprise. I love, love, love the teasing today brings. Hmmmm.... what will I do?

The President Reigns Supreme

Last night, a little earlier than usual, I got into bed. After 30 minutes of watching what I wanted to watch on TV I decided it was too early to be hitting the hay. I jumped up out of bed, wriggled my toes into my friggies (a family word for slippers) and walked to my bedroom door. At this moment I hear the squeak from one particularly weight worn stair. I know it's Joel. And by the steadiness of his steps, he was trying to be quiet. I thought to myself, "I'm gonna get him..."
Clasping the door knob, I prepare my attack. The door open a crack. All light from our room extinguished, so seeing him was easy as he was back lit from downstairs illumination.
I see his silhouette move past the door jam. (He's peeking to see if I've fallen asleep) I yanked open the door and bellowed a primal roar. (I surprised myself at the sheer volume and ferocity- I meant business). SUCCESS! I haven't seen him that overwhelmed in years. Ohhhhhh, it felt good. THE KING HAS BEEN DETHRONED!!! How long has it been since I scared the bejeebers out of some one? Yay, ME!!!
But this victory is short lived. He stole all of my unders. I am sans scivvies. I bow to his sneaky sneakiness. I am the April Fool.
Sidenote, while driving down I15 this morning, has anyone seen my unmentionables ?