17~ Try to be witty with stupid people. I end up frustrated and condescending
16~Make bigger than WalMart purchases by myself. Yeah. I hate moving the sprinklers around. Probably should have purchased sod AFTER we had run the lines...
15~Babysit. I like when my OWN kids go off to play...still covet my time.
14~Dance in public. Um. Not so good at this. I KNOW this for a fact. No one else should have to know it.
13~Volunteer. Well, I am the first to say, "I'll help!". But honestly, I think it's for the gratitude from the receivers, not the good feelings on my part. I am working on this. Hope to be able to remove it from this list by next Saturday.
12~Volunteer Wil. Not such a fantastic idea. I am the first to offer him up for hanging a shelf, moving a box, building ANYTHING. I hear about it later.
11~Throw the perfect party. I can plan the party for a month into the future, Hell, a year and I'll be doing EVERYTHING the evening before. (Can we say, PRO-CRAS-TI-NA-TOR?)
10~Start organizing. There are some things I know I am not good at. ORGANIZATION is a biggy. The entire house ends up in a state of destruction as I am FOCUS Deficient. I am a flit-er. If an item takes me away from my task at hand, I end up doing something in my new location.
9~Blog all day. Self explanatory, eh? The house is in disarray. My blog is tidy. Serious breech in prioritizing.
8~Think there are more than 24 hours in a day. There aren't.
7~ Ask the unknowns (that's you, dear lurker) to comment on this blog. I can't even get my own Mom to validate my time wasting on the puter.
6~ Expect mind reading. As hard as I try to believe this should be a feasible trait, the world at large is NOT blessed with an ability to go into my brain and understand what I am actually thinking. Weird.
5~ Be the funniest person in the world. I am too grouchy. Did you know Hilarity and Grumpiness don't mesh? I know! I am at a loss...
4~ File my nails on the belt sander. Does anyone out there do manicures?
3~ Use colorful metaphors. At dinner, Kate asked, "Will someone please pass the FREAKIN' ketchup. I looked at Wil and with a smirk said, "Sorry."
2~ Bark at people. This is a long story. But after an episode of my dog-iness, I was asked by a extremely strong looking woman (I use "woman" in an attempt to refrain from using colorful metaphors) if I wanted to fight. Wil stepped in and respectfully declined her invitation to rumble on my behalf. If I do say so myself, the hound deserved the bark.
Who am I kidding. I am terrible at being told what to do. Especially by me. There are NOT 17 things I can realistically regulate. Let the misbehaving commence!