Friday, August 29, 2008

You know where you're headed.

My sister who PROMISED to live here for a year is NOT going to make it.

She is pussy footin' it on out.

Back to the Land Of melting asphalt, Havoobs (real word- def: dust storm) birds in the winter that sport white whiskers (my attempt at describing SNoWBiRDS creatively~ I don't think it worked.) high AC bills and xerascaping.
Home to Alice Cooper, David Spade, The D-backs and The Ugh- Suns. Frank Lloyd Wright had a winter home in the Valley of the Sun. Olympic Gymnist Kerry Strug was born there, along with Stevie Nicks, Geronimo, Apache Kid and Doc Holliday. Steven Spielberg, Gary Shandling, Sandra Bernhard AND Lynda Carter (oh yah. that IS Wonder Woman) have been Arizonans.

And now, the pull of all this pomp and celebrity has grabbed hold of Kelli's big ol' ears and she's being dragged back.
So, this is how I've decided to deal with the pain of losing the
in Saying IT Simply
(Kell's the middle sister) dun dun dunnnnnnn...

I am Auctioning off her Sister spot to the highest bidder.
You need to bid with sisterly duties.

ie: color my hair, watch my kids, call me a moron if it's warranted, pick on Kourtney (she's the baby).... You get the gist? Start bidding!

And, to Kelli Marie, goodbye. Take sunscreen.
I'll never forget what you look like in a tutu.

Check ya later.


Amy said...

I am in the bidding!

Mindi said...

i'm IN.

she's a defector, huh? i must say, if i had to live somewhere other than st. george, i would choose az--i likey. give me melting pavement anyday over snow and cold. i'm a desert rat.

simply kris said...

Mindi, ok me too. i love so. utah and my hubby and i resided in phx for a few years I would move back if the work was there(our oldest was born there) but kelli is leaving to loving sisters... sigh. So, what will you do to be my new sister? How about you Amy? Show me the love ! :)

kourtney said...

First...can't really pick on me. Second, since this business is a partnership, I can't really agree to this decision. So I'm sorry big sis, NO AUCTION, as much as I love the candidates!

chic lit said...

who this amy and why is she taking my place? i think i should interview your candidates

The Hartungs said...

WHAT! when did this go down! I thought it was just speculation!!! it's not possible i won't accept it! she can't move so there. not allowed

Harlene said...

I am entering a bid complete with cafe rio, helping you waste vast amounts of time, runs to maverick for a refill, and I promise to always take your side.

Wait, what size shoe do you wear? I"d love to share, but hate to compete for the killer deals while shopping together.

chic lit said...

ok from my count amy is in the lead. (thanks for the bribe
;)its working) and for you harlene i accept all gift. i need to pick someone really good to replace me.

qponqwn said...

Um, is Utah County out of the running? My lame-ass sister (ew, did I say that?) Moved to DAllas with my neices and nephews and hasn't even visited this year. I could be a good excuse to come down to this part of the world. It is lame when siblings mess up the joyous family kinships by moving far,far away. Atleast you've got more...

Libbi said...

I would love to be yours if I didn't have so many already! I feel your pain right now.