You know where you're headed.

My sister who PROMISED to live here for a year is NOT going to make it.

She is pussy footin' it on out.

Back to the Land Of melting asphalt, Havoobs (real word- def: dust storm) birds in the winter that sport white whiskers (my attempt at describing SNoWBiRDS creatively~ I don't think it worked.) high AC bills and xerascaping.

Home to Alice Cooper, David Spade, The D-backs and The Ugh- Suns. Frank Lloyd Wright had a winter home in the Valley of the Sun. Olympic Gymnist Kerry Strug was born there, along with Stevie Nicks, Geronimo, Apache Kid and Doc Holliday. Steven Spielberg, Gary Shandling, Sandra Bernhard AND Lynda Carter (oh yah. that IS Wonder Woman) have been Arizonans.

And now, the pull of all this pomp and celebrity has grabbed hold of Kelli's big ol' ears and she's being dragged back.

So, this is how I've decided to deal with the pain of losing the

IT

in Saying IT Simply

(Kell's the middle sister) dun dun dunnnnnnn...

I am Auctioning off her Sister spot to the highest bidder.

You need to bid with sisterly duties.

ie: color my hair, watch my kids, call me a moron if it's warranted, pick on Kourtney (she's the baby).... You get the gist? Start bidding!

And, to Kelli Marie, goodbye. Take sunscreen.

I'll never forget what you look like in a tutu.

Check ya later.